OK... now it's time for a sensitive subject- WEIGHT. I have always struggled with being the chubby girl. I was always bigger than my friends, but not in a terribly obese way. Just rounder. I can remember being hurt by my weight several times. I will never forget when I was young (couldn't have been more than 6 or 7), and my old lady neighbor called me over to talk to her. I helped her with something and she was about to give me the sucker she always gave us when we helped her. She looked down at me and said, "You know Jodi, you'd be cuter if you weren't so fat. You better lose that weight before you get too old." I remember going home, crying, and telling my grandma the mean lady called me fat. I have a feeling Grandma must've talked to her because she never commented again.
I'm sure any psychologist could blame my weight issues on any number of things. Being a child of divorce, father abandonment, poor self esteem, negative comments about weight to me as a child... any of these could be considered the root of my struggles. But, I don't buy it. Those memories never once have "made" me eat a whole pizza or shove chocolate in my face. I did that, all by myself.
OK, so I have a long drawn-out battle with weight. Sometimes I feel it's turning into the Hundred Years War! But, the tides of the battle are shifting... Recently, I looked at some pictures of myself from my heaviest. I hadn't noticed how my hard work IS noticeable! I can actually see my progress, and THIS has given me the fuel I needed to light the fire under my ass. Have I lost a Biggest Loser amount of weight? Nope, but I'm working on it.
Thanks always for listening to my rants. I'm hoping that maybe someone out there can relate. If you feel yourself struggling, I encourage you to make some side-by side pics and see if there are any differences.
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