Resolutions Time!

Yep!  That's right!  It's that oh-so-special time of year when we reflect on ourselves- past, present, and future.  People love to joke about New Year's resolutions.  They are silly, pointless, set us up for disappointment, etc.... Yet, we still make them.  Why?  I'll tell you why- because it's good to take some time to self-reflect and think about where we can improve ourselves and our lives.  There's nothing wrong with that!  I'm not saying not to be happy with yourself, I'm just saying that I feel we should always be thinking about ways we could be better versions of ourselves.

Of course there's always the common resolutions- lose weight, quit smoking, get more organized.  Those things are all great and most of us would do well to try for those things.  But, in order for you to have success with your resolution, it has to be something you can buy into and REALLY want.  So, I've decided to focus on areas of my life where I could use some improvement.  I'm going to focus on goals for SELF, FAMILY, WORK, and SPIRIT.  Feel free to quit reading now if you are going to be bored to tears.  I won't be upset.  Actually, I won't be upset if you keep reading and roll your eyes a few times.  I don't expect you to agree with everything.  Honestly, I'm just putting this all out there in an attempt to hold myself accountable.  There's something about putting it "out there" for everyone to see that adds a bit of pressure to make results happen.  So, here goes...

SELF: Yep, I am continuing on my goal of weight loss.  Last year, I lost about 15 pounds, but that's no where near where I should be and that was good.  Rather than just the number on the scale, I'm going to focus more of creating a healthier lifestyle for myself and my family.  I have a lot of young eyes watching me (at home and work), and I want to be a good example to them.  I'm going to focus on eating cleaner (I feel like crap when I eat crap anyway), and moving every day.  (FYI, my hubby got me a fitness tracker for Christmas.  He didn't want to get it for me because he feels it's "gimicky", so I want to prove to him it was a good investment!  If I don't prove to him that it was good to get me what I asked for, he'll never listen to what I want for Christmas- he'll only get what HE deems worthy.  Challenge accepted!)

FAMILY: It is sometimes way too easy to get caught up in the business of life and things that you have to do, and it is easy to forget to spend quality time together.  This year in particular, I've noticed time has flown by way too quickly for my liking.  Before I know it, my girls will be grown up and starting on lives of their own!  (God, it gives me anxiety to think about it!)  So, I'm going to set out with the simple family goal of doing one quality family-time activity per month.  Maybe going for a hike in the summer, going fishing, build a snowman, go sledding, camp in the backyard, whatever!  I'm also going to document this year of family-time through pictures and put it into a photobook next January.

WORK: Last year's goal was to not get stressed out about what the future holds- and I feel I kept to that pretty well.  The teaching profession is not was it was, not what people think it is today.  It is tough, with LOTS to balance and it can be very easy to get super overwhelmed.  My work mantra is: I can only do so much, and I'll do everything I possibly can.  I work continue to work my ass off, but I'm not going to kill myself or jeopardize my family togetherness because of my job.  My family does and will always come first.  I'll continue to balance things by leaving each day earlier, and staying one night late per week.

SPIRIT:  This is pretty simple, but has a couple parts to it.  1) Continue to blog.  It's good for me.  I'm going to set the goal of blogging at least 1 time per month.  It helps me reflect and keep grounded (and just might inspire others sometimes).  2) Go back to church.  Every week.  No exceptions.  3) Listen to Joel weekly.  I'm recording them, so I can watch them.  I like his messages, and I like how they make me feel very reflective.

So, that's it!  Only a small list, but an important one.  Will I make it all year? Hopefully.  Maybe.  I'll try my hardest, but if I don't, there's always next year.  :)

Happy New Year and have a wonderful 2015!!

I found my spirit!

I always find it can be a challenge to find the true spirit of Christmas with the days and nights being so busy.  For me, Christmas has always been about family, love, tradition... I find that when I try so hard to create my memories that I lose the spontaneous ones.  So, today, I decided to do something about it.

It started with going to church.  Now, I consider myself spiritual and faithful, yet not really a church-goer.  But, I felt the need to go this morning.  Both the girls and I went, and I'm so glad I went.  At one point, while sitting there at the end of mass, Emily leaned over and held my hand.  It was so sweet and spontaneous, I just felt a swelling of love come over me.  I had a sense of peace and that everything was right and as it should be.

Then, the majority of the day was just spent watching TV, napping, playing pretend baking with the girls.  Then, I had the idea to surprise the girls with a trip to Lilacia Park in Lombard for the lights.  I have always wanted to go there, but Hubby kept saying it was "lame".  I told him he was more than welcome to join us, but I was going to take the kids tonight.  I'm SO glad that we went.

As we were pulling up to the park, "Oh Holy Night" came on the radio.  I feel this is one of the most beautiful Christmas songs, and it happens to be one that I always associate with my Grandma.  It was her favorite song and it is impossible for me to hear it without thinking of her.  While the song was playing, tears came to my eyes, and I just knew she was there with us.  (She passed away a while ago and I miss her terribly.) Again, such a sense of peace and rightness.  The park was wonderful!  The colors, the happy feeling walking in the cold, and being there with my family.  It was great! The lights at Christmastime has always been my favorite, and they put me instantly into the spirit.  Like the last piece of the puzzle I was putting together today.

Funny how things will kind of fall into place when you need them to.  So, from my family to yours- Merry Christmas and Christmas blessings to you and your family.

Just when you thought they'd be good...

In all my years of working with kids and having my own for the past 7 years, I have come to find it to be true that just when you thought kids would be on their best behavior- they are typically at their WORST!  I find there are 2 times in particular when kids are quite awful disagreeable.

1) During the entire week of their birthday, and

2) During the Christmas season (sometimes just the week of, but it could be the WHOLE season...)

I'm sure the reason behind their less-than-lovely behavior is due to the excitement of both of those times, but man.... It would be nice to have just a little bit of time where they behave themselves extra!  I've tried the whole "Santa's watching!"  or "Sully will be flying back to tell Santa about your day!"  But, those comments don't particularly help for long... After a while they go right back to having their outbursts, fits, or fighting with each other.  Don't get me wrong, they don't necessarily turn into little monsters at this time.  It is just that they can have more monster-tendencies than usual.  They seem to get jumpier, squeal more, act a bit more wild than usual, and "no" works their way into their vocabulary a LOT bit more.

At these times, I sometimes question my parenting.  When they pitch a fit for things not going their way, Hubby is quick to comment it is because they are spoiled.  As I watch one of them pitch a fit because I asked her to _______________ (insert chore or task here),  I can't help but think, "Geez, are they acting like this because they are spoiled??  Is Hubby right??"

I know I have worked hard to not give the girls everything they ask for, and not over-indulge.  Yes, I like to do things for them, but I try to balance it out with also having them do nice things for others. In fact, there have been multiple times I've caught them being kind and generous to others.  I remember the times where Emily gave a little girl some of her tokens at Chuck-e-cheese because she didn't have enough.  Or, I think of how Megan wanted to go bring chocolates to friends when they were sad ("Chocolate always cheers up people, Mommy".)  I think that perhaps it really is just this time of year when everything seems to be overexciting... The lights, the prettily wrapped packages, seeing all sorts of family & friends, endless shopping/baking/cooking/parties, and then there's the anticipation of Christmas Eve & Day.  Sigh.... Who knows...

Now that I've gotten my thoughts out of the way, I'm off to go watch a movie with my little holiday brats...

"Yesterday's 'I love you' is not enough for today."

On my way to work, I'll either listen to Kiss FM, or occasionally I'll listen to a Joel Osteen podcast.  Today was a Joel day, and I'm so glad that it was!  My post and thoughts today are based off of one of his messages.

Joel's message hit home today.  He began by saying how people are never put into your life randomly.  Your husband was sent to you by God.  Your parents are not yours by chance- God placed you with them because that's where you needed to be.  Your children did not come to be because you and your husband got together- God knew your children before they were yours.  Your name was written on them before they were even a thought in your mind.  God gives you these people to care for, to love, to honor, to cherish.... Wow....  This made me really think hard about the people in my life.  Am I honoring them?  Am I caring for them the way God charged me to do??  This is a really powerful thought and one that I'm still thinking about halfway through my day.

I don't know very many people that would think, "Yes, I love my children/spouse/parents the best I can every single day." We are human, and humans have flaws.  Lord knows, I sure do!  The key isn't to be perfect, but to strive to be better.  There is always room for improvement, and thoughtful change.  So, the question isn't "Do you love those around you the way God intended?" but "How can you love those around you to the best of your ability?"

First things first- pour love onto those around you.  Tell them every day that you love them and feel blessed they are in your life.  Yes- every single day.  It's great you told your mom you love her, but that was last Mother's Day!  You need to do it more! Wake up telling your children you love them and let that be the last thing they hear.  Whisper an "I love you" to your spouse in the morning (even if it's to them when they're still sleeping) and end the day with an "I love you even more". And, then repeat the next day.  Yesterday's I love you is not enough for today...

Next... guys, tell your lady that she's beautiful.  We all need to hear it.  I promise you, we will NEVER get tired of hearing you tell us that we look nice.  Even if you've seen us look better, tell us every day how nice we look.  Here's a secret, guys- many of us ladies are insecure and we need to hear that we're desirable.

Ladies... tell your man how proud you are of him.  Yes, you told him how incredibly proud you are of him when he graduated college (6 years ago), but you need to update that.  Tell him how proud you are that he's a great father/provider/husband.  Let him know that you are proud to have him as your Mr.

So, now you know what I'll be working on in my life.  I'm going to focus on being sure I'm taking care of those around me that God has entrusted- my family, my students, my co-workers, my friends, etc.  Lastly, let me end by saying how much I love all of you!  You have no idea how much it means to me when I know that people actually read what I write and when it sometimes makes them think about and reflect on their lives.

Lucky #13!

Well, today marks day #13 of my 100 days challenge! I can't be happier that I'm still feeling as committed as I did on day #1. Here's what's happened over the past 13 days:

While I have exercised every day, some days I had to make myself move. I happen to be very good at talking myself out of exercising, but none of that was allowed this week. One day I waited until the last minute (9:30pm, before bed) to get my ass out and walk the dog for 30 minutes. But, it was worth it and I'm glad I stuck with it. I also dare say that exercise is becoming a habit. Shocker!!

Journaling is the 2nd part of my challenge. Some days I write my thoughts, write an entry of gratitude, or just something good from that day. Its been great, and a nice close to my day.

Lastly, I signed up for a DietBet! Basically, you pay $ to buy into a challenge with other people. Then, the pot gets split between those that meet their goal. It's competitive and motivating for me. I find myself chatting with, encouraging and supporting the other challengers... but that's kinda against the point, right? I need the other challengers to not meet their goal in order to make $$ for myself. Whatever... as long as I meet my goal (lose 4% of my weight in 28 days) and don't lose $$, I don't care.

Until next time, take care of yourselves. Spend some time focusing on you and what makes you happy.

100 Day Challenge

A few months ago, a teacher friend of mine posted a stunning picture of herself on Facebook.  She looked radiant, and she said she'd just finished her 100 day challenge. I was intrigued at that time, but not ready to challenge myself at that time. It was too busy at the end of the school year. We were going on vacation in June. And, I'm sure there were other excuses that came to mind. The excuses won out for me, but not for a new teacher friend. She began her own inspiring challenge.

You know how I mention all the time that you are meant to meet certain people for a reason? Back in April, I had a committee meeting where I got to work with other teachers. This one girl and I instantly clicked, and it was the most enjoyable time I've ever had on a committee. Little did I know that my new friend would be the one to inspire me.

Today, my friend finished her 100 day challenge. She has lost 23 lbs, several inches, and gained many healthy habits. She has inspired me to start on my own challenge. I'm convinced this is why we clicked so easily- she was meant to be the one to inspire me to get going.

So... I'm putting this out for everyone to see and know. I am starting my 100 day challenge today. Basically, I am challenging myself to exercise for at least 30 minutes a day, and write down one thing positive from each day. That's it. I know I can at least walk around a couple blocks with my dog if I don't want to hit the gym, and I can write down 1 sentence before bed.

This morning I made myself a 100 Day Challenge poster and put it right on my closet door. (I know, I'm such a teacher!) For some reason, I'm having a hard time posting the picture of it to my blog...

Wish me luck, and I'll keep you updated on my progress. If you are starting your own challenge, let me know. We can encourage and cheer each other on.

5 years of lessons learned

On June 13th, it was the last day of school, a full moon, Friday the 13th and... our 5th wedding anniversary! Its hard to believe we've been married for 5 years already. I know it's cliche, but time goes by so fast. And, as time flew by, a lot of learning was going on. If I were to give advice to myself before marrying (or to any girl yet-to-be married), these are a few lessons I've learned.

1) Forget any ideas you have about being newlyweds. Yes, you love each other (you wouldn't be married if you didn't), but that first year is a tough one.  I was really shocked when I found hubby and I arguing about everything! This is due to all the adjustment that has to happen. (Yes, even if you've lived together prior to tying the knot.) You are both adults that are used to having your own thoughts, making your own decisions, and doing whatever you want. But, now, our personalities are clashing, beliefs aren't quite mixing nicely, and decisions aren't matching up.  But, you'll get through it. I feel the first year is tough because it's a test for those that won't last, and are easily frighten away by conflict.

2) You set the precedent of what is acceptable. The way you allow others to treat you, is what you are saying is acceptable. I received this gem of advice from my mother once. A long time ago, I was dating a guy that was fun and whom I really cared about. Yet, He was always leaving me home while he went to be with friends- never mixing the two. In fact, he even cancelled pans with me one year on New Year's Eve! I remember crying all night, and my mom giving me advice. She said, "If you don't want him to do this again, you can't let him think it's ok. If you don't say anything, he WILL do it again and again." Of course, I didn't follow that advice and I let him walk all over me. With any guy after that, I stood up or myself. I didn't tolerate this mean disrespect because it was unacceptable to me. If you don't want your guy to treat you wrong, put you last with his priorities, be inconsiderate-  then don't allow it!

3) Discuss money often and BEFORE marrying. There is a reason they say money is the #1 cause of divorce-  because it is! Money has been the biggest issue in our marriage.  Basically, I spend and he refuses to. Our spending priorities are very different, and cause arguments all the time. Before you get married, talk about your spending, how do you see your lifestyle being once your married? What kind of saving will you do? What do each of consider a "big purchase", and when should the spouse be involved in the purchase? All of these things might seem little, but they can cause BIG problems down the line.

4) Be open and honest with your emotions and expectations. Please, stop playing the "I'm fine" game. Its stupid and very unhelpful. Just be honest and say "I'm passed because__________." Or, say if you're just crabby or PMSing (he can tell anyway). Let him know when you're mad, and let him know when you're happy. The more you're open and let him know what's up, the better he will be when it comes to reading your emotions in the future, and your communication will improve.

5) Learn to pick your battles. Trust me, not everything is worth the fight. Your hubby will annoy the shit out of you, but you have to be selective when picking a fight. Make sure it's worth it, and not just a stupid argument. Buying a car without consulting you? WORTH IT! Leaving clothes and towels on the floor of the bathroom? NOT!  Feeling neglected? WORTH IT! Him spending all day out with his guy friends? NOT! Think about the long run when picking your battles.

Marriage is a journey, full of its highs and lows. You will hate him, you will love him. Those butterflies will fade, and will question your future. But, after you learn how to communicate better and come out of big fights and battles, those butterflies will be replaced by a true, deep love that comes from your heart. The wedding is just one day, but the journey is what makes your marriage true and lasting.