Chris* and Mrs. Brumbaugh

Good morning friends!  I have been absent lately, and I apologize.  Basically, I've been waiting to be inspired by something.  I hadn't had anything extraordinary happen or anything stand out.  So, I didn't write.  But, now I can!  I'd like to tell you about a boy that I don't think I'll ever forget.  He is an example of exactly why I do what I do every day.

You might recall that back in September I wrote about a particularly challenging child. I'm going to call this boy *Chris* for the purposes of my story.  He and I would butt heads all throughout the day. I asked him to sit, and he'd stand.  I wanted him to put his things away, and he'd start taking out more supplies and dropping them on the floor- while staring me in the eye.  Totally defiant, and pissing irritating me every day. It got to be totally exhausting for me (and I'm sure him, as well).  See, Chris hadn't had a very great time as school in the past.  Last year, he missed 38+ days between January and June.  I'm sure his kindergarten attendance was no better.  He did not make any relationships at school with friends or teachers, and his mom would let him stay home any time he wanted.  He would wake up a little late and miss the bus, so she'd keep him home the whole day.  There was a little baby at home, and I'm pretty sure he was often the babysitter.  School was simply NOT a priority for him nor his mother.  He had no friendships, relationships, and academically he was suffering (reading way below level and not able to do basic math skills).

At the beginning of the year, I called his mom from my cell phone while driving home.  I was nervous because I'd heard she could be difficult at times.  I introduced myself and said I was looking forward to working with her and Chris this year.  She seemed taken aback that I was calling from my personal cell, and thanked me for talking with her.  Ever since then, she's been very easy to talk with on the phone.  His attendance improved, but then it began worsening again.  My principal and I called the mother in for a meeting.  We basically tole her he MUST come to school- no matter what.  If he missed the bus, my principal said she would go pick him up from his apartment and bring him.  After that meeting, Chris seemed like a new kid.  He was helpful, talkative, supportive, and totally different.  He and I were bonding over jokes, stories, and he would often share things with me that would give me insight into his life.  If he missed school, I would text his mom and ask where he was, or let her know that I look forward to seeing him tomorrow, etc.  One day, he didn't show, and my principal (true to her word) went and picked him up and brought him to school.  Now, if he's absent, she will text me and give me a reason and assure me he'll be there the next day.  Is his attendance perfect?  No, but it's A LOT better than any past year.

Throughout the weeks, I saw a new child emerge.  He was smiling, making friends, standing up to bullies (when he used to pick on kids before!), and enjoying himself at school.  He would listen, participate, and offer to help kids that needed extra attention.  One day, I had a splitting headache, and went around the room and told all the groups of students "Be quiet!  Teacher's head hurts!"  It was sweet.  Chris was rapidly becoming one of my favorite kids.

The day before our Christmas break, Chris brought in a gift for me.  It was a simple mug with a packet of hot cocoa.  Probably something most teachers would typically re-gift or put into a white elephant.  But, I have already placed it in my special teacher memory box.  His family has no money.  Just 2 weeks ago, he teared up telling me that he thought they might be moving because his mom couldn't pay the rent.  Yet, he felt it important enough to bring me a gift, using what little money he had.  I was very touched.  Then, last Friday, he said, "Teacher, my mom told me that we don't have any money for presents this year, so we won't get anything.  But, guess what!  Yesterday, someone called and said they have presents to give us!  My brother is picking them up today."  My heart swelled.  I truly felt God's love at that moment, because I had referred his family for gifts.  I wanted to shed tears of joy.  After telling me this he said, "Teacher, are we going to be gone from school for 2 weeks?  I'm going to miss you... Can my mom text you if I miss you?"  I said "of course" and he leaned in for a hug.  My heart swelled again.

Now, why am I writing such a LONG story about Chris?  As a teacher, we know we affect the lives of others, but it's rare to actually see it happening.  I have been given the gift of seeing Chris' transformation into an amazing little kid.  I had been really struggling this past year.  It's been stressful and busy and I wasn't feeling like a very good teacher.  I wasn't feeling like I was doing a good job, but Chris has renewed me.  He gave me just the boost of confidence in myself that I needed.  He is truly an example of why I chose to be a teacher, and why I'll continue to believe in the positive power of being a teacher.  Yes, I believe that I've changed him in positive ways regarding school and positive relationships with teachers he hadn't had previously. But, he'll never know just how much he's changed ME and helped ME.  I feel this is yet another example of God bringing people together when needed.  There was a reason that I was meant to be his teacher this year, and God made that happen.

Perspective

I had parent-teacher conferences this past week. I learned so much about the families and backgrounds of my students this year.

I work in West Chicago, IL. It is a great city full of history. I love driving through the town and seeing horses at one house, an amazing park across the street, and 100+ year old homes. It's great!! However, I work in the part of town that is extremely needy. Many of my families dont make the rent, move several times a year, and dont always have $$ for food. It is definitely a poorer area of town. While the area may be poor financially; they are rich in heart. When we were on strike, we had parents bringing us food, warm drinks, even thrir own home coffee pots! They organized parent meetings to support us teachers.

But, it never fails that there are some conferences that shock me. Having parents cry is nothing new. There are always a few a year. But, never have I cried due to a conference.  I had one meeting this week that absolutely broke my heart and put things into perspective for me. I had met with the mother of a sweet, gentle, well-behaved little girl. She is new to the country with the family moving here less than two years ago. I told the mom how her daughter is sweet and very well behaved, but she needed more practice with speaking English.  Overall, it was an easy conference.  Until she asked her daughters to leave the room... She then proceeded to tell me how less than 2 years ago, the daughters witnessed family members murdered right in front of them. They lived in an incredibly dangerous part of Mexico. Men would drive around in trucks, pull over to the sidewalk, and randomly execute people walking on the sidewalk.  There was more she told me and with each thing my heart broke for my student and her family.

Hearing this made me think. We take our freedoms in this country WAY too much for granted. People complain about how expensive organic food is, how schools aren't funded properly, or bitch about "Obamacare". There are people that don't know if they'll live while walking down the street. Kids in fear that their parents might not come home because they were randomly executed. Children that have to live with the horrors that they've witnessed. I have no place to complain when people are experiencing this. No matter how annoying things might be, there are people that would pray to be in my situation.  So, the next time I catch myself bitching about being inconvenienced, I need to keep my student and others like her in mind.

You're Closer Than You Think

I was reading something the other day, and there was a message about traveling on your journey, "You're closer than you think." We all have journeys that we travel through life. Maybe, you start a new job and you feel like you're going to be a nobody on the lowest rung forever. Maybe you are trying to get out of debt, and it seems like you're never going to ever have money to buy anything you want. Weight, addiction, independence, freedom are all common journeys. All of us at some point has or will set out on a journey in life, and it seems like it will never happen or you'll never get there, so what often happens?? We quit, or give up. The end is nowhere in sight, and we get weary, so we give in. But, its so important to keep going.

This made me start thinking. I have always struggled with my weight and fitness. Every couple months I recommit, do well, then fall off the wagon. How many days have I wanted to quit and just give up? How many times have I thought, "Screw this, I'm just going to eat what I want and do what I want. It's taking too long to get to where I want to be." But, then I think to myself, "I'm closer than I think. I need to keep going. The finish might be coming soon." I'm on the right path to meet my goal.

When I began teaching, I was making a crap salary, working part-time, and pushing myself for very little reward. Then, I kept getting laid off due to numbers. I kept getting rehired, but then I didn't. I was off work for a year. Why didn't I quit? Why not just go look for an office job. I never felt like I was very "important" in the schools I was in, and on the inside I always felt inferior to all the other teachers. I was doubting myself, and it would've been easy to quit the teaching journey. But, I didn't and I'm so thankful. Now, I'm at a school where I feel valued, respected, and important. I don't feel inferior; I feel equal. I'd finally followed my journey and  I'm so glad I didn't give up.

What I'm trying to say is, you are closer to your goals than you think. Keep working out. Keep putting in the hours at work. Keep watching what you eat. Don't throw in the towel because its not following your timeline. Things will come to fruition when they are meant to. Just keep moving forward, and remember, "You're closer than you think."

Checking In and Catching Up

I have to admit that I'm a bit embarrassed that I haven't posted in 2 weeks. This picture shows my reason for not posting, but it's still no excuse. My apologies everyone!! But, let's catch up a little bit on some areas of my crazy, but full life.

Teaching: We are coming to the end of October, and true to my predictions, things are starting to settle into place as far as behavior goes. I still have those kids where I don't necessarily cry when they're absent, but things have mostly calmed down in room 105B. As a teacher, I feel soooo far behind in everything I need to do. I have piles of crap everywhere, and it's making me nuts. I just need to spend a day uninterrupted in the classroom to get my act together. Since I don't see that happening soon, I'll just make do with what I can, and teach on.

Fitness: Ugh... I'm really beating myself up over this area. I'm using work stress as an excuse to not be working out, but I really shouldn't be doing that. I have fallen so far off the exercise wagon, that it's driven off for miles and left me in the dust. I've got to get up and hop on the next incoming wagon ASAP. November and holidays are coming, and that's primetime weight-gaining season! I'm going to promise to try my best to get my act together starting this Friday. Those that have my number, please text or Facebook me to remind and harass me to exercise on Friday. Please!! I need a kick in the ass to recommit.

Kids: What can I say? The weather has been warm, cold, warm, cold, and rainy... All within the last couple weeks. Of course, Megan has a cough and cold now. I caught the flu that both girls had. It was AWFUL, but thankfully a short one. I want to set off a Lysol bomb in my house and leave for the weekend. Hmm... Do they have Lysol bombs??

Marriage: Long story short- hubby is currently going through an early mid-life crisis and decided he wants an '80-something Cutlass. Why? Because, he used to have one in high school. (Yes, I'm rolling eyes as I type this.) For MONTHS now, he has been looking on Craigslist for a car. I told him now is not the time, please just wait to get it. Let's just say I made it VERY clear what my response would be if he got a car. Well, guess what.... Yep! Saturday night he brought a nicotine Brown piece of crap '86 Cutlass home. Those that know me personally could guess my reaction. Saying I was pissed or mad as hell would be a complete understatement. Hubby's response to mine, "you never want me to have anything I want." Ugh.... Major eye rolling, swearing, tears, sarcasm, and much more ensued. This has been a battle for the books my friends!

That's my crazy busy life. How about yours? How's it going?

Looking Through the Windshield

Many days I will listen to spiritual podcasts on my way to work. I find it gives me a peaceful, positive energy to start the day. Well, today's discussion was about looking forward. The speaker said, "You are intended to not dwell on the past, but look towards what's coming in the future. Did you ever wonder why the windshield is so large, but the rearview mirror is so small? It's because there are bigger and more important things coming your way than what's already passed by." This really stuck with me all day today. Usually when something stays in my thoughts, I feel I need to pay attention and examine it further.

How many times have we thought about things that've happened to us in the past? Maybe how someone wronged us, a relationship failed, or how we were let go from a job. It's hard not to think about those "if only..." moments. For example, I worked in a school district for 10 years. I was happy there. When new administration came along, I was let go. I was devastated. Surely I'd be hired back, I thought. I can't possibly be meant to work somewhere else. I was RIF'ed 3 times, and kept getting hired back until that last time. I was angry, hurt, and felt very bitter. I felt heartbroken to not be returning to my "home" with my teacher friends that next fall. I just couldn't understand why I kept getting hurt and disappointed.

Flash forward several years and I am now teaching for my 3rd year in a great district in which I can also call my home. Looking back, I can clearly see the purpose of my having to be ousted from that previous district. If I hadn't been forced out, I'd have never left. I would never have moved on to my new district and been able to touch the lives of my students these past few years. What if I had stayed bitter and dwelled on how I felt wrongly let go?

We need to not be dwelling on those wrongs in our past. We aren't meant to do that. We are meant to keep moving forward; keep going. Just like drivng... If you're trying to find your way to a new location, and you keep watching your rearview mirror, what's going to happen?? Yep, you'll probably miss your turn and could get lost on the wrong path. That's why we need to keep our "eyes on the road", and look to the future.  I certainly don't want to miss my turn or shortcut to my destination because I'm too worried on what's going on behind me. Maybe you feel the same? Maybe you can think of a time where had you watched the rearview mirror, you would've missed better things?

Earn Your Parent Stripes

Yep, stomach germs invaded our house. Sunday night, Emily threw up. Then, at 1am last night, it was Megan's turn. Thankfully, it was only a short 10-12 hour bug. And, guess who was on the front lines for all of the action. You got it! This girl!  I had a little time to think today about parenting and sick kids.

Pregnancy can be tough for some, and the whole birth process? Not fun for anyone. Handling the tantrums, school worries, teaching right from wrong- these can all be challenging. But, nothing separates the tough from the week like caring for your sick child. Nothing else will make you cry right along with your child quite like the misery and pain that being sick can bring. But, the key is to remain calm, composed, in-charge, and caring (all while trying not to throw up yourself).  I don't think I have to spell out who the girls want when they're sick; I still have the habit of calling my own mom when I'm sick! LOL

I titled this "earn your parenting stripes", because that's exactly what us parents that have been through the flu wringer have gained. We no longer cringe at the sight of blood. We don't run in the opposite direction when our kid pukes. What do those of us with our stripes do? We jump right in there with the paper towels, disinfectant, hair ties to hold their hair, and we stay put and rub their backs. We don't step away from their hugs- we give them because we know that's what they need. Any parent that's been through a flu season could be considered lucky- but, I'm not so sure. It's those late night sick emergencies that help us become better, more skilled parents. While I'd never wish my kids sick, I do feel a sense of pride in knowing I survived and came out feeling more competent than ever.

Blessings and Lessons

What do you think of this phrase?  

I often will think back to all the people I've met in my life.  Some I'm still in relationships with, some I only knew for a while, and others are long gone.  Going along with my belief that there are no coincidences, I have to wonder why these people were brought into my life?  Why were some friendships shorter than others?  Why did I get so close to come people so quickly, and others I never warmed up to?

I started by thinking about the obvious- past boyfriends.  They were all different from one another, but upon closer examining, there was a commonality between them.  There was something "broken" about all of them.  One had a crappy home life, one had an alcoholic dad and step-mom, another wasn't sober very often, another was no longer in contact with his family...  While I felt I loved them all, I wonder, did I really just want to fix them??

Then, I move onto work-friendships.  I've been fortunate to have worked in some places for longer periods of time.  For a while I was in one school for 7 years, and I gained some really great friends by working there.  Others kind of faded to "facebook friends" and I've lost touch with others completely.  Yet, these were people I saw virtually every day, and felt that we could be considered friends.  How did it all change so much once I left?  Was it really work holding us together?  I don't think so... I think that these were the people that were put in place to help me learn.  They were guides, and I can honestly say that I took away something from all of them (other than just some awesome memories).  Since I believe that my life is somewhat mapped out, and I'm being guided, I think that these people were put in my path for specific purposes.  I'm going to take some time to think about what those purposes were, and see if I can make some connections.

Then, I think about my current friendships...  I have some that I go to when I need life advice.  Others I go to for kid/mother advice.  A few that I can turn to whenever I need anything- positive or negative.  I even have a friend that seems to pop in every time my spirit needs him.  It's funny because we aren't in constant contact, but when we are and we have some truly enlightening conversations- my soul feels happy.  I know, I know... I know how that must sound, but that's the best way of describing it.

So, now that I've started thinking deeper about my friendships, relationships, etc. I'm going to see if I can figure out the lessons that those people taught me, and be sure that I thank my blessings for being part of my life and who I am.

**PS- thanks for the gentle reminder to keep posting, B!**

Day 3: Breakfast

Yep, that's my none-too-exciting breakfast. Typically, I eat a large honeycrisp apple on my way to work every day. Does it have to be honeycrisp? Yes, it does. I'm a total apple snob. If its not a honeycrisp or in the family, then I have no desire for it.

Day 2: List

It's day # 2 of the October photo challenge, and today's picture is supposed to be a list.  I assumed that to mean any kind of list, so I created a list of my Top 5 Blessings.

I wanted to take a minute and discuss these things on my list.  Obviously, my family is my greatest blessing.  They are my life and my whole world.  I am everything that I am today because of them.  My daughters make me drink smile on a daily basis.  My hubby keeps me passionate about life.  My mom and brothers keep me grounded by my roots, and my dog gives me the unconditional love that I need.

My friends are my sanity.  They make me laugh and are always there when I need to vent or cry.  Some have jokingly dubbed us "The Real Housewives of DuPage County", and that just makes me laugh!  It's funny because it's silly, but also very TRUE in many respects.  And, I love my "housewives" dearly!

I am fortunate in that I work in a job that is completely all I want to do in life.  I have that unique opportunity to directly impact children's lives.  As scary as that could be, I am exhilarated by it!  Also, I have been very lucky to have made some amazing lifelong friends throughout moving schools and positions.  I have a huge support network in the education world, and have made connections with people in so many ways.  I am so blessed to have met these people, because each relationship brings some sort of gain or insight.  I gained increased patience from one teammate, spot-on classroom and time management from another, and the ability to get others to open up from one amazing "childlike" coworker.

The last two are closely related, and I feel have carried me a long way in my life and career. I have had a variety of situations in life where some people would have a very dark perspective on life.  I could easily focus on how unfair things can be, how good things happen to everyone else, how I really screwed up on some of the choices I made... but I DON'T.  I realize the importance that there are no coincidences in life.  Many of the WORST choices I made directly impacted and brought to light some of the BEST things into my life.

All in all, I feel very blessed in my life.  Everywhere I look, I smile.  No matter how irritated I might be, or down and sad I might feel, I know that there's always a silver lining right around the corner.  I can't wait to enjoy that silver lining with my family, friends, and coworkers!

Day 1: Morning

This picture is of what I see every morning while I get ready during the week. I get up at 5:45am. I slowly get myself ready for the day. While I do that, I open my girls' bedroom doors and hopefully they'll hear me moving around and wake up "on their own." That's a much better alternative to my waking them up. I hate that they have to get up so early, but I unfortunately have no choice. So, this is my morning view of my girls' opened bedroom doors.

October Photo Challenge!

I saw on Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans that they started an October, photo-a-day challenge. I thought that'd be the perfect way to get me posting here more regularly! So, check out my next post for day 1 of the challenge. Also, I encourage all of you to participate, too!!

Fall Traditions

Five years ago, Brian, myself, and our friends brought Emily apple-picking. It is one of my most treasured moments. Over the past few years the tradition has grown to include more friends and many more children. I have some of the most amazing pictures from our apple-picking outings, and there are memories I'll never forget. For example, the time we went and it was rainy and cold. As we sat on a porch, our friend was actually ringing out her socks. We always must get our apple doughnuts and sit on the back porch and enjoy them. We always sit at the exact same place, every single year. No matter how packed with people the place gets, there us always room for us at "our" spot.
I am a person that thrives on tradition. I love the consistency that having yearly traditions provide. It is almost a way of having yearly built-in memories. Most of our traditions either happen in the Fall, or during the holiday season. Trick-or-treating at the grandparents' house with all the cousins, having my family gathering together on Christmas Eve, enjoying the Brumbaugh family Christmas at Aunt Florence's, and ringing in the new year with best friends are all the best traditions that I love and cherish.
This picture shows how far we've come over the past five years. The original group was four adults, and one 1-year-old. Now, look how far we've come! Our group today has expanded to 7 adults and six kids. Time just flies by, and I'm sure our group will only grow throughout the years, and eventually I'll bring my grandkids here. Traditions just make me feel so happy. I felt very blessed and content today as I enjoyed making new memories with my hubby & girls, my favorite kids, and my best friends.

Three Weeks In..

I'm really disappointed that I haven't written as regularly as I'd hoped for this month. Perhaps I didn't realize exactly how hard is be working this year. Now, teaching always has its challenges, but this year seems to be driving me nuts. I'm stressed about curriculum, behavior, duties, planning, prepping, and balancing my life between home and school. It's been interesting to say the least.

So, this week I've been working hard on behavior in my classroom. I have a group of kids that always do what they're asked, a group that seem to never do what I ask, and the rest that pick and choose when they want to listen. So, I've been focusing on getting that middle group to fall in line. I find myself thinking back to something one of the best teachers I know said, "They have awful behavior until October. Expect that. Then something happens and all your hard works comes together at the end of October." Karen said that to me once, and that has kept me going all week. I'm just going to keep pressing on, stay focused, and pray everything will come together.

I stumbled across this picture on Pinterest the other day, and thought I'd post it here. This pretty much sums up how my week went. I had this face at least 5 times every day! LOL I hope you all enjoy your weekend. I sure will!!

Tomorrow is Another Day

Yes, my friends... This is the kind of day that I had today. I think this glass explains it all, really.  Have you ever seen Kindergarten Cop?  (One of my favs!)  Remember the scene where Arnold was looking around, the room was chaos, and he was going to lose it?  Yeah... I felt exactly like that at one point this afternoon.  I had one kid refusing to to anything I asked, I had 5 kids randomly come up to ask to go to the bathroom; 6 more kids come up individually to tattle on another student, and the noise level was totally unacceptable.  It felt like I had lost control of the classroom (something that rarely ever happens), and I got totally overwhelmed for a minute.  It was one if those days where as a teacher, you doubt yourself. Things you were confident in before, now has you wondering, "Am I as good as I think I am?"  Now, don't get me wrong, I have my teaching weaknesses and some areas where I could improve, but I always felt that I have great, solid classroom management.  Until today... 

What else can I say other than, "At least I'm going back in the morning."  I think that's what makes teachers in general amazing people.  They can get so much stress piled on them, and have the crappiest of days, and yet we still come back ready to go and try something different in the morning.  We don't say "forget this", we try to fix it. In all my years of working as a teacher or an assistant, I've never had a class that broke me, and that's NOT going to happen now.  They got close today, but that's the closest they'll ever get again.  I know it might sound like a mind game to some people, and honestly, it is sometimes.  In the beginning of the school year, kids will want to see what they can and can't get away with.  They will test your sanity their limits, and push you as far as you can go.  They pushed me today, and I had a human moment where I had to take a few deep breaths.  I am human and I have very human emotions that I try hard to keep in check while in the classroom, but sometimes it's hard to keep them suppressed.  On this note, I'll leave you with one thing that made me smile this afternoon: 

During my self-imposed time out, one sweet girl came up to me and knew I was getting upset.  She said to me, "You know what I learned in my Sunday bible class, Mrs. Brumbaugh?  That it's not good to hold your anger inside.  If you do, it will make you explode, and I don't want to see you explode like a pumpkin.  That's why you should let your anger out."  She then hugged me and said, "I love you".  Such a sweetheart, and she had no idea how much better she made me feel.

No More Megans Jumping on the Bed!

"One little Megan, jumping on the bed. She fell off and bumped her head. Mama called the doctor and the doctor said,  'no mire megans jumping on the bed'". This is our story tonight. Basically, Megan did a live reenactment of this famous song, except she bumped her (split it, actually), and mama took her to the immediate care rather than just call.

It is just the worst feeling when your little ones are hurt and in pain. You just wish you could bear it for them, and take their pain away. I am not a stranger to the ER, but I also don't run there over any little thing, either. No matter how many times I've been through it, each time sucks.

Megan was jumping on her sister's bed, and fell off of it. When she fell, she hit her ear on the bed frame. She came out crying, and when I saw her ear, I though "uh oh. This thing is going to need stitches." The bleeding stopped, but it looked awful, so we took her to the immediate care center.

They were really nice at the center, and her doctor was wonderful. She was so calm and caring for our little Meggie. She was so patient and understanding. Megan did great up until that damn numbing shot. It was awful! My heart broke when I saw her in such pain. It's awful for any parent to go through because you have to hide your emotions so that your child doesn't get even more worried. Unfortunately, the numbing stuff doesn't usually work on me, and it wasn't working too well on her either. Eventually it kicked in enough for the doctor to put in 5 stitches. After she was done, Megan perked up a bit, and was happy to get her ice cream. Here is a picture of the little darling after it was all done. She went through terrible pain, and still gave a small smile for a picture. Needless to say, I can't wait to go to bed and end this day. The doctor recommened I call the plastic surgeon tomorrow to have him check on her ear tomorrow or Thursday. Hopefully everything will all work out. Good night all, and give your little ones an extra hug and kiss tonight.

Caring...

Today was an interesting day. Let me backtrack to last week. Last Wednesday, my grade level had our curriculum night. This is where parents can show their interest in the school, the classroom, and what their child will be learning. I had been talking about this night with students for the past few days and how important it is for their parents to come. Out of 28 students, I had only 4 kids' parents come. I was shocked! I couldn't believe that so little parents showed up. Don't they care about their child's education and success?? I understand things come up, but really?! Isn't part of being a parent to take an interest in and support your child's schooling? One would think... To me, it just comes across as these parents just didn't care enough to come.

I decided that while the parents should have come in at night, I arranged two afterschool parent meetings. Today's was ok... I had 4 more parents attend. That's a grand total of 8/28 parents I've touched base with. Fingers crossed for more tomorrow.

Then there's this one student that has had a very tough time adjusting to classroom rules and expectations. At times, he flat out refuses to follow directions, won't listen when people are talking, and becomes argumentative when his behavior is corrected. At the end of the day, I asked him to step out into the hallway to talk with me. I feel as though I've always been good at building relationships with my students. They realize I am there to help them no matter what, as long as they care and want help in order to improve. We were talking a bit and at one point I asked him if he cares about school and learning. He couldn't answer, other than "I guess". Then, he said he didn't think that I cared (because he got in trouble for not listening). That stung... I've never ever been told it doesn't seem like I care! Nothing could be farther from the truth! I explained to him that if I didn't care, I wouldn't bother with talking with him. I would let him do whatever he wanted and not try to problem-solve. That's what it would look like if I didn't care. At the end of the day, we both agreed to come tomorrow ready to start over and work together.

So, today's thoughts revolved around caring and how do we show that we care. I'm sitting here tonight replaying the past two weeks of school. I want to be sure that I'm showing my students I care about each and every one of them. I also want to be sure I'm a caring parent and giving my girls the time and attention they need and deserve.

Where were you?

Where were you 12 years ago today? I've been told that everyone can remember what they were doing the day President Kennedy was shot. I know the same is true for September 11, 2001.

I was working as a multi-needs classroom assistant at Westmore School. It was a typical day and I was helping a student calm down after a meltdown. I was in the back corner of the classroom, giving the student time to himself in the "Zen den". I can picture it exactly if I close my eyes, right down to the green and yellow beanbag chairs and the blue padded gym mats on the floor. Angela, another assistant, came into the classroom with a weird look on her face. She said, "Joanna, something's happened. Go into the lounge and look on the tv." So, I went and saw the news breaking that a tower was hit. At that point, they didn't realize it was an attack. The district was placed on a soft lockdown (no recess, students don't leave the building, but teachers could).

I went home for lunch, and my grandma had the TV turned on. I glanced at the news report and was stunned to see footage of a second plane hitting. I watched live news coverage of the incredible devastation that was happening. The gray ash that was blanketing New York City, people crying and bleeding. Then, I watched footage of the tower collapsing. My heart started pounding, and it broke for those people, those kids, those officers, those Americans.

I had to go back to work and I filled them in on everything I'd seen. Every teacher I passed in the hallway had a grim, heartbroken, worried expression. We knew what was happening, but we wanted to spare our students. We didn't want to scare or upset them, so we held it together. Barely...

I went home after work. My mom came home, and my brothers came by the house. We all just sat there, watching, crying, hugging... Just a feeling of utter devastation. I remember hearing my brothers tell me they heard gas would go up to $5/gal, so I'd better go fill up now! I went to get gas, driving in a daze, and apparently they weren't the only ones that heard about the price hike. I waited for 15 minutes in line for gas before filling up, then heading to my boyfriend's house.
I will never forget- I couldn't even if I tried. I will also never forget seeing the heroes step forward to help one another. The sense of unity, pride, and patriotism was incredible on September 12 and the days to follow. I pray that those families that lost a loved one are able to find peace through God's grace, and I pray that my children will never have to experience a national tragedy such as September 11, 2001.

Pretty Muddy 5K 2013

Remember how I talked about my bucket list?  Well, one of the items on it was to run in a mud run.  Since I know I'm not really the most fit person alive, I figured that I really would never be able to do one.  Until my fitness buddy emailed me last spring saying that I needed to sign up for this all-women mud run 5K with her.  I figured, "Sure, what the hell?" and I signed up.  Well, this last Saturday was the big day!!  I was really nervous in the morning.  I really didn't know what to expect and I was really anxious thinking about what would I do if I wasn't able to do one of the obstacles?  I was doing this Pretty Muddy with 14 other teachers from work, and my pride would never have let me skip an obstacle while everyone else did it.  So, I would just have to keep up.  And... I did!!  I started jogging the first little bit, but then I remembered that I'm not really a runner, and I quickly let that go.  I may not run, but I can power-walk like it's nobody's business!  So, I walked my ass all through that 5K course, climbed up and over walls and a cargo net, crawled under things in a deep pit of mud, tore my knees up scooting through tunnels, and slid down an inflatable slide.  I got incredibly dirty and had a blast doing it!!  My goal was to finish it, and I DID!!!

As much as I hated being covered in all that mud (and I really did hate it), I couldn't be happier with myself.  Granted this run wasn't nearly as intense as others I've seen people do, but that's ok with me.  I am so proud of myself for accomplishing this task.  I think there are few things that feel as good as crossing off an item from your bucket list.  I'm so happy, I've been smiling since Saturday!

Let the new year begin!!

Hello!!  I promise, I haven't dropped off the face of the Earth.  I'm trying my best to balance going back to work, being a mom, and getting everything done (work & home stuff)! 

I've started a new grade this year- 2nd!  I taught kindergarten for two years, first grade for two years, and 6th for two years.  This year, I couldn't be happier to be back with the little ones!  Are the exhausting? Yes!  Are the funny? Yes!  Are they frustrating? Yes!  But, I love them.  My two years of teaching 6th graders gave me a huge insight into another side of teaching, and allowed me to be a different teacher.  Still the same at the core, but just different.  I had some wonderful kids that I know I'm going to keep wondering about one day.  I know that I had a couple that will do something great to change lives.  I can just tell.  They have that certain spark.  While I loved most of my older kids, I still missed and craved working with the little ones.  I was thrilled when my principal offered me the switch!!  I had heard warnings stories of the class that I'd be getting, and I felt excited.  I love a challenge with kids.  I love working with them, molding them, supporting them, and seeing how far they come.  I think it's an amazing feeling taking that difficult class and turning them around.

So, today was the first day of school.  I was excited to meet my new class.  We spent a while sorting through supplies (which are still sitting on my counter right now), getting settled, and talking with one another.  Honestly, I didn't do all too much academic, and I'm OK with that.  I'm building our classroom community.  I'm helping them develop a relationship with myself, and with each other.  I want them to understand that this classroom is a fun, engaging place that they should be excited to come to!  I am totally confident that if I just take a little extra time to form these bonds, the academics will come.  They will feel comfortable to take risks with me as I guide and push them, and these risks are what will lead them to true gains.  I'm not saying that we didn't do any academics, just not as much as I would do in a typical school day.  There will be time for that.  Sure, they'll be tough times during the year, and they definitely need to build up their stamina, but we'll get there.   I can't wait!!

Here's the smile of the day: Once we had put our supplies away and gotten settled, we were transitioning to read aloud time.  One girl felt the need to tell me, "Teacher, I broke my arm and I can't do anything heavy." Seeing that there was no cast on her arm, I simply smiled and said, "I'll be sure to remember that.  Now, come join the group."  Apparently the "broken arms" were spreading, and three other students throughout the day decided to tell me that they, too, had broken their arms and couldn't lift anything heavy.  Maybe the medical field has come a long way and developed invisible casts??  Ahhh... it's these types of things that I truly missed over the past 2 years.  I love the random, left-field stories, and they make me chuckle inside.

New Month, Renewed Attitude

I love when a new month starts! It just have such a natural feeling of a fresh start. Last month, I committed to not weighing myself, regular blogging, and doing the August ab challenge. Well... The ab thing didn't last too long. However, I did become a regular at Zumba. I continue to blog fairly regularly. No, it's not every day like it was, but I try to not let it go too long without posting. The one thing I did great with was not weighing myself. I'm not saying I didn't gain anything (because I'm pretty sure I did), but I use my clothes to judge that. I intend to keep with not weighing myself for September.

Due to the clothes that seem to have shrunk in the wash (that's what I'm telling myself, anyway), I've decided to throw myself into a fitness/food program. Myfitnesspal helped in the beginning, but the novelty wore off. So, I found the app Noom. So far, it seems great, and i'll keep everyone updayed. I'll commit to it for the month of September and see how it goes. Wish me luck!

I'm putting my September goals out there to hold myself accountable:
1) no weighing myself
2) commit daily to the Noom program
3) have a positive and happy classroom demeanor each day. Less raising my voice/yelling, and smile until my cheeks hurt.
4) let no more than 1 day go by without going to the gym. This one will be the most challenging once school starts, but I'm up for the challenge.

How about you? Put your goals out there to hold yourself accountable, and get some support from friends. Many of you encourage and support me, and I'd love to return the favor!

Busy, busy, busy!

It's been a super busy week for us in the Brumbaugh family!  Emily started kindergarten this week. We had an orientation on Monday, and her first full class was Tuesday. Monday night she said, "Mommy, that school is boring. I don't want to go." She's never used the word boring and is usually excited by school, so I knew something was up. Later in the evening, she came to sit on my lap and began to get teary. When asked what's wrong, she said in such a sad little voice, "I liked my preschool. I miss Mrs. E, and I don't want to move on without her!" Then, she cried. Mrs. "E" was the fantastic preschool teacher she'd had for 2 years. We talked about teacher relationships and moving on and giving her new teacher a chance. The next day came... and she did great!! No tears (from her, at least), and happy smiles when she came home. I felt incredibly grateful I got to take her to her first day of school this year.

The school year is quickly approaching. This will be my 7th year teaching! I can't believe it. No matter if it's 7 years of teaching or my 1st year, I still get nervous. The sleepless nights of tossing and turning have been going on for a few nights now. To-do lists of all kinds are all I see when I close my eyes. It's always like this at the start of the school year, and it will taper off around October.

As far as fitness goes, I have remained loyal to myself by not weighing myself. It's been quite a while since I've not weighed in, and I feel fine. I've been going to Zumba when I can, but this adjustment of working AND exercising has been difficult. I keep at it though. Wednesday was a special 2 hour Zumba party. Wow! I didn't think it was possible to sweat so much!

Overall, a busy, but a GREAT week! I hope yours was just as good, and next week will be even better! If I were to take an overall in inventory on the amount of happiness going on in my life, I would give things an 8. Not bad, but not perfect due to it being sooo busy at work. But, that will change, too. Take a little in inventory on your life. Where's your happiness level?

Perfect Marriages?

Is there even such a thing?  A friend and I were talking about this just last Saturday. Are there any perfect marriages out there? I'm not really sure there's such a thing, in the sense that we mean. There are some marriages that look so perfect. They're always happy and smiling and affectionate. Surely they can't ever argue at home. I have one friend that is so mellow, as is her husband. They are both teachers, their family backgrounds are similar, and they have the shared experience of college together. I can't ever imagine them having the arguments that hubby and I sometimes have.  Another friend of mine has raised 3 awesome kids, teaches, and still likes to laugh and hang out with her husband. They always seem so content, and I never saw either one mad at the other. Are these couples "perfect". But, then I have to wonder what is perfect?

Then, I stumbled upon this picture and it struck me. It made me feel good knowing that it's not black and white- perfect marriages or flawed ones. It's the people involved and their devotion to keep going. I know I'm not perfect, and I can be difficult to handle. But, I know I'm in my marriage for the long haul- no matter how difficult it can get at times. I know hubby is the same, so maybe we have a "perfect marriage" afterall?

First Day of Kindergarten

Today is an emotional day for me. My baby is going to kindergarten. I'm so excited for her and all the amazing things that she'll learn, see, and do. It's hard to think that my little girl is even old enough to be going to "big-kid" school. That time up until now is actually gone. She's growing up so fast, and I wish I could stop the clock for just a little bit. Yesterday she was very cuddly, and she said to me, "Mommy, can I just stay with you forever and live with you always?" My heart melted, "of course." Unfortunately, I know all too well that the inevitable arguing, attitude, and " I hate you"s are only a few years away. How will those times not break my heart? But, I also know that phase will only last for so long. So, I'm just going to say a prayer for Emily's first day, put my worries into the God-bag, and slap a back-to-school smile on my face.

A Bucket List...

... Do you have one?  Ever since the movie came out, it seems that "bucket list" seems to be quite the buzz term. (For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it's a list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket.) So, do you have one? I never really sat down and thought about it too much, or wrote an actual list. But, I do have a few things on my list.

In my bucket list, I have:
Vacation in all 50 states. For a state to qualify as "vacation", I need to spend at least 1 night there and do something "touristy".
Go on vacation with my mom. She doesn't really go anywhere on vacation, and I'd like to go on a vacation with her as an adult. The last time we traveled the two of us was when I was 12!
Visit Ireland and where my family is from. I have pride in my Irish roots, and I want so badly to visit.
Complete a mud run. This is actually going to happen in September!
Write a book. Just something I've always wanted to do. Something humorous.

These are just some things I've thought of. I bet that if I sat down, I could come up with a list. Maybe that's something I'll do when I have some quiet time for myself (yeah, right!).  I'm curious, do you have a bucket list? What's on it?

Have a Positively Great Day!

I try to run my life in a positive way. That whole "brighter side of things", and "silver lining" stuff? Yep, I believe all of that. (People that know me are reading this and might be snickering right now, but its true!) Yes, I get struck my moments of anger, or frustration. I may need to vent at times. Everyone does. But, I generally try to remain positive about situations.  Getting laid off twice (actually 4 times) and needing to find a teaching job within three months? Finding myself unemployed with two kids and making it work with unemployment? Those are things that might bring people down, but I remained positive through it.  I didn't let my situations get the best of me.  It wasn't worth it to me, because I knew that once you get in that negative mindset it's really hard to break free from it.

Ever been around a truly negative person? They feel like a black cloud has entered the room and they suck all the positivity out of the room. These people will ALWAYS see the negative side of things- why a solution WON'T work; why life is so HARD; why do bad things always happen to THEM.  Well, I personally believe that what you put out, you get back. If you are always saying "I always have such bad luck", "I'll never find someone", "work sucks and I hate going", then don't be surprised if those things are EXACTLY what you're going to get.  Of course, sometimes bad things happen to good people for what seems like no reason.  This is where the "silver linings" comes in. Find that one light in a dark situation.  It will help keep your positivity.  I'm not saying you need to be a Pollyanna, but you don't need to be a Negative Ned/Natalie either.  Just try to see the brighter side and watch how things will really seem to look a little brighter in your life.

Garage Sale!

My friend and I are currently having our second weekend of a garage sale. We usually have our sale Thursday through Saturday, and do pretty well.  Have you ever had a garage sale before?  They are A LOT of work! The prep, the set up, the selling, the waiting, the break down.  But, I love that I get to finally get a lot if the clutter of my house.  We've made a few fun memories through our garage sales.

We always pick a "magic item", and it's one item we think is the least likely to sell. Our magic items have been: a bag of cotton balls, a marble egg, a Christmas clock, a Sox player bobblehead, lingerie. Guess what?? ALL of those items sold!  We've been frustrated by certain customers- one woman offered us $20 for a 5-piece oak bedroom set!! (It later sold for $250.). One guy asked me what my lowest offer on a steam cleaner would be.  I had no idea, so I said $10... only there was already a $5 sticker on!  There have been all sorts of nationalities and personalities.  Today, we met a hilarious older husband and wife celebrating their anniversary.

Lots of opportunities, money, and memories made from all of our garage sales.  Even though they're a ton of work, they are some if the mist fun times I have all summer!

Gone, But Not Forgotten

Yesterday's entertainment "news" was that Wentworth Miller has come out as gay.  He is an incredibly good-looking and well spoken man. I think my gay-dar was off on that one, but that's not the point if this post. Wentworth starred in the show "PrisonBreak" about 5 years ago. I was OBSESSED over this show!  The plot was amazing. It was filmed locally in Illinois, and the show was full of male eye-candy. When I say obsessed, I mean I went out to the old Joliet prison to watch them filming!  This was before I'd ever had DVR, so I would have to work my social calendar around episodes.

Now, I love my tv shows. Always have. I have fond memories watching "The Sopranos" with my mom and grandma. She loved to comment on how cute Tony was. I have early memories watching "Family Ties", and "The Cosby Show".  I truly enjoyed watching "Home Improvement" with my family, discussing how Jill had the patience of a saint!  There are some shows out there that instantly bring a smile to my face, and I realize... I actually miss those shows. I miss Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha.  I miss my weekly shows like ER, 7th Heaven, Friends, and the original 90210.  Those characters came into my home every day for years.  When you connect with a show, you connect with the characters that you see every week.  I have to admit, I get really bummed out watching finale episodes.  I may or may not have been known to cry even when I have to say goodbye to my favorite characters.  Please tell me I'm not alone!  Comment below and share your favorites that you've had to say goodbye to!

Today is supposed to be "wifey Wednesday" and posting about marriage.  (I might be re-thinking the day assignments.)   I get a lot of inspiration from conversations with friends and Pinterest pictures.  I came across this one day and it made me smile.  Not to toot my own horn, but I AM awesome!!  Let's face it, there are days that yoga pants, a ponytail, and minimal make-up is all I got.  But, my kids are dressed, fed, cared for, and played with.  The laundry is usually done and no dishes are left in the sink (a habit from my Grandma).  The floors are vacuumed, and dinner is on the table 5 out of 7 nights.  When I think about all that I do every day, it's really A LOT.  I honestly feel like I should get my hubby this shirt!  I'm sure he knows how much I do and is thankful for it, or else he'd be hungry and naked.  I think he neglects the fact that I need him to tell me how awesome I am.  There's a joke saying that if a man wants to look sexy to his wife, he should do the dishes.  I agree.  If a man wants to have his wife give him that sexy look, then he should tell her how awesome she is.  I know that'd work with me, for sure!!  So, I'm going to continue my awesomeness and head out to ZUMBA class.  (A place that celebrates everyone's awesomeness the whole time!!)  Stay awesome, everyone!!

Getting it Together

This past week has been one of those weeks.  We've all had them.  I feel like a hamster on a wheel, scurrying to keep up but getting nowhere.  This time of year is always tough.  It's getting into our morning routine of waking up early and heading to the sitter.  No naps.  Getting my classroom ready.  Making sure Em has all she needs for kindergarten, and getting plans set for Megan to go to preschool.  All of that while trying to stay on top of cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc.  It's enough to make anyone go crazy!

I have to confess that I've been a little less than likeable lately. In fact, if I was someone else, I would've deservedly told me to *uck off yesterday. I was soooo crabby with everyone.  But, you know what? Stress happens. It's happening to me, and I'm doing my best to keep it together. So, those of you out there that feel just like me? You're not alone. There are many of us out there that are doing our absolute best to keep it together. We try to stay on top of things, all while attempting to keep a smile plastered to our faces.  Life isn't always pretty and smooth. Stress goes along with those messy times, and this is a very stressful time for me. I'll get it together; I always figure it out.  So, if you're feeling like an emotional wreck; like you can explode at any second; like you've been running around non-stop; like a plate-spinner trying to keep 10 plates going... I'm here to reassure you that you're not alone.  (Those smug-looking moms you see at the school every morning? Yeah, I bet they're feeling the stress, too.) Keep on going, get it together, and the stress will ease soon.

Changes....

There are so many ways that I've changed since becoming a mom close to 6 years ago.  It's unbelievable that I can even recognize myself anymore sometimes.  I've decided to create a little list of some changes that come to mind.  See if any of you can apply any of these to yourself.

1) Going to the store involves tons of pre-planning a prep (no longer just grab your purse and go).  I must consider accidents, hunger, injuries, boredom...  In fact, I'm pretty much a just like those doomsday prepper guys- only in a realistic way!

2) I have learned to smuggle chocolate into the house like a mama smuggling a file into jail for her son.  Even though I am constantly yelling at encouraging my girls to share, I have NO intentions of sharing my MilkyWay.  So, what happens once it's smuggled into the house?  I wait until they go to bed to eat it, sneak bites of it when I go into the kitchen, or sneak it into the bathroom (yes... I have been known to do this once before when it was an emergency to get some chocolate). 

3) Christmas never meant so much to me before.  I LOVE the look on the girls' faces at Christmas time.  The smiles, the wonder, the happiness.  I just love it, and I'm living through their enjoyment. 

4) Confession: I was never really into baby stuff before.  I had a couple friends with kids, but I really never gushed over baby stuff.  I honestly, couldn't have cared less.  But, once I became a mom and I could identify with the whole experience, I love to talk about it!

5) I can spend hours at Target and Meijer.  I know LOTS of moms can agree with me here: I never imagined that Target would become like a weekly mini-vacation!!  Never in my L.B.K. (life before kids) could I imagine I'd spend so much time at the store.  I was an in-and-out shopper, and shopped with a purpose.  Now?  My purpose is to wander around and waste time- KID FREE!!!

6) I remember my mom telling me when I was young, "I hope you have a kid just like you some day."  My response was always, "Yep!  Perfect and wonderful in every way."  Always such a little smartass   Little did I know that mother-curses are set into motion to come true once spoken.  I do have a daughter just like me.  And, while she is perfect and wonderful, I anticipate myself repeating my mom's words to HER one day!

7) Vacations were so much easier during L.B.K.  Why didn't I take more of them??!!  I missed so many opportunities to just pack up and go!!  I'm kicking myself for not traveling more during that time when it was so much easier. 

8) Time with my girl friends means so much more to me now.  I've always had close friends, but their friendship is important to my sanity now.  I can vent to them, support them, have them support me, and go to them in times of need.  They understand the challenges of marriage and kids, and I love them for that!

These are only a handful of ways I noticed some changes.  How about you out there?  Anyone out there reading this??  I encourage you (hint hint) to add a comment on how you've changed.

Enough With the What-Ifs!

As a teacher, you get used to going to trainings.  There are trainings for literacy, math, writing, cooperative learning, boosting test scores, discipline methods, programs, technology, and many more.  Sometimes these days can last a few hours, or others last several days in the week.  I am currently attending a Kagan Math training, and I love it! It makes me excited, and look forward to using ideas in my classroom.  (If you aren't familiar with Kagan, I suggest you check him out.  Fantastic!)  Fortunately (and unfortunately at times), these inservices are filled with a variety of teachers.  I was having a great time at this training until the "what if"s started....

When you have a group of different people getting together to learn and discuss something new, there's always at least one in the group that is resistant.  This person is the one that will come up with any reason why something won't work or wouldn't apply to their situation.  They often love to complain (different than venting) and are rarely interested in real solutions.  They are extremely resistant to change and it is very difficult for them to be swayed to see differently.  They are the ones that say things similar to: (cue high-pitched, whiny voice now....) "There's no way any of this would possibly work in MY classroom!"  Or, "if only everyone could see my classroom, they'd never ask me to do this!"  And, "what I've been doing is just fine, it's these kids that are the problem!"  Sound familiar??  (If you can't think of hearing people speak this way, then maybe it could be YOU!) 

Today was no exception...  There were a couple people that were resistant.  They were saying, "What if the kids don't listen?"; "What if one child is slower than the other?"; "What is there's a fire drill?"; "What if it doesn't work exactly like the book?"  OMG!!!!  I thought I was going to explode!  I wanted to shout, "ENOUGH!! God gave ya a brain, now use it!!"  But, of course I bit my tongue and kept quiet.  See, I feel bad for these what-iffers sometimes.  They are SO afraid of change that they can't see 5 minutes ahead.  They can't see that if they would just sit quiet and think, things aren't really as difficult as they seem!  Isn't this the way it is with most situations involving change and/or conflict?  I have found that sometimes the things we are most resistant towards often aren't nearly as bad as I first thought. 

So, deep breath for me for now.  I'll go bad and endure the what-iffers for another day, and then go on my happy way.  Enjoy your night everyone!!  Give your kiddos, hubby, dog/cat/hamster and hug!!

My Mom-i-corn

Yes, I believe my mother-in-law is that mythological creature- the mom-icorn.  Only heard of in myth and legend, never in real life.  She is really wonderful.  She's respectful of me, and always defers to what I say regarding my kids.  When hubby and I argue, I can't remember a time she ever took his side, and not mine.  I honestly, genuinely enjoy being around her!

From talking to so many friends, I realize I am the minority. I feel bad for those friends that don't get along with their MIL, or are disrespected by her. That's really a shame that my friends aren't welcomed with open arms by their hubby's mother, as they should be. As, I was.

This week, she kept the girls and I company on our trip to the children's museum, and impromptu visit to the Naperville Riverwalk for a nice afternoon walk. And, tonight? She invited me over so I could teach her how to make peach pies! I have had a great time just chatting with her this week. I couldn't be happier and feel luckier that she's my mother-in-law!

Teaching.... So Much More

A couple things that people automatically assume when I say I'm a teacher:
1) I must get paid a lot (I don't). 
2) I get paid summers off (again, I don't get free $$ for not working. I choose to take less on my checks so I can have money over the summer.).
3) My life must be soooo rewarding. (Ummmm, those shining moments aren't as common as you think. If you saw a shooting star every night you looked at the sky, would would it be as special?)
4) I have a "cushy", 8-4 job. (No!! There is sooo much more than people know about!!)

Yes, teaching can rough. Yes, it can be incredibly frustrating and demanding.  There are lows, but its those highs that make this job all worth it. Today, the demands are getting more intense. The blame is constantly being shifted to teachers, and the whole child is being considered less and less.  One thing that hasn't changed for me is the fact that there's no other job in the world I'd rather do. It's so rare to have a job where you just know that you are directly affecting lives and making a difference.

Dreams For My Daughter, Emily

I can remember the night Emily was born (along with the 24 hours of labor leading up to that).  I know that love at first sight is 100% possible because that's what happened when I first met Emily. But this post is not about how much I love her. It is about my dreams for her.  See, I've always written her a letter on her birthday, but I'd like to write her another letter here on my blog.  The expression "Time Flies" makes sense once you have kids.  Those baby days are gone before you know it.

Dear Emily,
You are an amazing little girl, and I'm beyond proud I'm your mommy.  You have a personality that uplifts so many people around you.  You love to laugh, giggle, joke, and make people happy. Never lose the optimism, baby. That optimism and the ability to laugh at anything will help you through all difficulties in life.

You are such a self-confident and dedicated little girl.  You are all about the rough and tumble life.  You love to dance, but it's got to be hip hop NOT ballet!  You know what?  That's fine- don't follow everyone and be yourself.  There's no better person for you to be.  I dream that you follow your heart and be true to yourself no matter what. You know exactly what you want, and what you DON'T. And, that's ok. In fact, I've seen many adults go through their lives having not a clue knowing what they like and what they're about.  These are the people that feel lost, and this will never be you.  You know exactly where you going, and I can't wait to see it happen for you, Love.

You have a special thirst for knowledge, learning, and seeing how things work.  You are ALWAYS asking questions about everything!  While I may get annoyed sometimes, I know that this is just who you are.  It's this curiosity that is going to take you far in your education.  Learn all you can, and I hope that you never stop learning.
 
I see so many wonderful things in you, and it makes me excited for your future. I know you will be doing great things with your life. And, I mean it when I say its your life. I will support you in every way with whatever you choose to do, but I do have some of my own dreams for you.

I dream that you make all kinds of friends throughout all your schooling.  Make friends that are good kids, with nice families and good values. Hold onto these friends, but make room for new ones as you grow.  I dream you choose a career that will make you happy and proud.  Make a difference in this world.  I dream that you find someone that makes you happy and an even better person. Now, you have a strong personallity (I know how that is), and you'll need to find someone that compliments you.  Find someone that loves you for who you are.  When the time comes, I dream one day you'll have at least 1 child so you can experience the feeling of love between mother and child- there's nothing else like it. I love you baby, and I want nothing but the best for you in life.  Always & Forever

Have no fear, friends! I have NOT given up on my blogging. My weekend was super fun, and super busy. Lots of good time spent with family & friends.  I'll be posting some great new thoughts this week! Good night, sleep tight!

What's With All the Workouts?

This summer I set out to take full advantage of my break and time off work. I decided to go to the gym every day. Most recently, I began going 1-2x per day, and going to Zumba every chance that I can. I have a tendancy to post on Facebook when in checking into the gym, headed out to take a class, sweating after Zumba, etc. Why do I do that? I don't mean to annoy people with my posts; I'm just proud of my accomplishments and want to toot my own horn a little bit.  A week ago, dear hubby asked, "So, what's with all the working out?"

I use working out as a stress-reliever. Let's face it, I love my girls but spending 24/7 entertaining them kinda makes me nuts by bedtime.  There are some days that if one more person calls me 'mom', then I'm running away! Or, after a summer home with the kids, I need to have discussions about things other than what ailment is going into Doc McStuffins' big book of boo-boos; or if mac'n cheese is better than chicken nuggets.  I need to connect with others. Make some off-color jokes.  Be sarcastic. I need to find a place where I can be myself!!

My solution? My workouts!! I can sweat, tell, run, and totally exhaust myself. It feels so good!! My workouts give me that valuable me-time that saves my sanity and keeps me happy. And, let's face it, but when mommy's happy, everyone's happy! I'm not saying you all need you all need to head out to the gym, but DO go find somethjng to do that will help you "reduce your stress and re-find yourself."

Didja Set Your Goals Today?

Goals.  Just that single word alone can cause anxiety in some people, but I feel that they are essential to living a full and complete life.  I can find few things that can give such a feeling of accomplishment other than meeting a goal that you've set. There are long-term, short-term, and temporary goals.  I think you have to use a mix of all three.  I have daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, and lifetime goals.  My daily goals are things that are more tangible, such as Get the laundry done; Go to two classes at the gym today.  I have my weekly goals that are things that are still pretty easily manageable, but could take a little work.  For example, Go to ZUMBA every day this week; Finish scrubbing the walls; Meditate each morning for at least 5 minutes before getting up are all examples of weekly goals that I've set for myself.

Then, I set goals that take a little longer to accomplish.  These are the tougher ones; ones that I find can be a bit of a challenge.  Even though they are a challenge, they still need to be reasonable.  Too often, people set goals that are impossible unreasonable and get disappointed when they don't meet them.  Why set yourself up for failure?  I mean, setting a challenge for yourself is one thing, but make sure the challenge is do-able.  Usually my yearly goals are tied to my resolutions for the new year.  Last year, I set a yearly goal that I would attend Weight Watchers for a full year, and that's just what I did.  This year, I joined a gym the first week of the new year, and I'm still going 8 months later.  So far, so good!  Yearly goals don't have to begin in January- in fact, I have begun my own "Happiness Project" (a book by Gretchen Rubin) and it's a year-long project that I just began in July.  We'll see where I'm at with it next July.

Some of the most important, soul-changing goals are those lifetime ones.  These are the biggies; the ones that are tough but are amazing if you accomplish them.  These are the wishes and dreams that you can make happen.  My past lifetime goals?  Become a teacher.  Get married.  Become a mother.  Get my Master's Degree.  Buy a house.  My upcoming ones?  Well.... those are still a work in progress, and I'm happy to report that they are coming along nicely.  :)  How about you?  Do you set goals for yourself?  If no, then why not?  I encourage you to make yourself some goals, short- and long-term.  What's the worst that could happen, right?

To the Newbies

I have been the new teacher in the school and/or grade level 5 times in my career.  I know how it feels to be the new teacher starting out meeting new people, getting a room set up, getting a feel for the climate of a school, learning a whole new curriculum (or helping to design one), and all the anxiety that comes with being new.  I know that every August there is a whole new crop of new teachers starting out, and I thought I'd take a minute to give some of my lesson-learned tips and advice. 

YOUR NEW CLASSROOM
1) Take pictures and measurements of your new room.  Do a rough drawing of how you'd like your room to look- in other words, make a plan.  This will save you valuable time later. 
2) Take it one area at a time when setting up the walls of your room.  Make sure you designate one wall as a "focus wall".  If anyone walks into the room, this will give them a snapshot of all curricular areas that you are working on.  Think visiting administrators, parents, etc...
3) It's your very own classroom.  Do anything you want with it!!  Look around online. (Pinterest is a great place to start.)  There are TONS of different examples of how rooms are arranged. You'll be spending 8+ hours in your room, so you better like it!

YOUR NEW SCHOOL
1)  Observe all that you can, and get a feel for your new building and everyone in it.  See who the go-to teachers are for help/resources/advice/etc.  Be aware that it's a building full of different personalitites, and you need to feel everyone out (just as they are surely trying to figure you out).  Be yourself, but hold back some comments or opinions until you know who to say what to.  Basically- learn when to keep your mouth shut quiet.  Again, this is solely based on my experiences.
2)  Ask to check out the classrooms of those around you.  Ask them questions about school and non-school related things.  You will be in the trenches teaching with these people for months.  It helps when you have friends at work.
3)  Make friends with the custodians, assistants, and the secretaries.  They are the hearts of the inner-workings of the school.  If they don't like you, your life at school can be MUCH more difficult.  (Also, some of my closest friendships have been with the members of the support staff at schools!)

YOUR NEW SCHOOL YEAR
1) Remember to breathe.  Expect it to be hard- Don't expect to create all the extravagant lesson plans that you created in undergrad classes.  (I remember having to create thematic units for every methods class with incredible differentiation, multiple ingelligences, etc for EVERY subject.)  You will burn out if you set that expectation for yourself.  Aim for 3 good "undergrad lessons" a week.    The first year's goals are survival and learning.
2)  Discipline is not a bad word- in fact, it's KEY.  Without classroom management, you're year won't ever get off the ground.  I suggest going lighter on the academics at first, while nailing down your classroom management.  DO NOT worry about the kids liking you.  They don't need a FRIEND; they need a TEACHER.  You can always be strict in the beginning and pull back later, but you can't be lax on them in the beginning and expect to pull in the reins later.  It won't work.
3) YOU set the seating arrangement.  They DO NOT pick where to sit, starting from the first day.  (Oh!  If you use desk name tags, don't stick them onto the desk until the third day.  By, then you'll know who for sure is in your class and you won't have to make new tags or throw unused ones away.)
4) SET HIGH EXPECTATIONS, and they will strive to reach them.  I've always had high expectations for my students (kinder-6th grade), and they've always strived to please.  I don't give them the option to not meet my  expectations... that's why it's called an expectation!
5) Lastly, I'm going to give you my key mantra for teaching- Fake it until you make it!  If you don't feel confident, then act like you think a confident, veteran teacher would.  Eventually, you will embody what you are pretending.

Good luck, and congratualtions on a wonderful adventure.  Please remember, that while you are focusing on Common Core, parents, collegues, students, curriculum, testing, etc... The child comes first.  When times get rough, never lose sight of what's important and why you became a teacher.  :)

This is for You!

Being a mom is a tough job, and its a position that's filled with self-doubt. Am I being the best I can be? Am I giving enough attention to the kids? Maybe I shouldn't have yelled ay them like that. Geez, my friend seems like super-mom and so much better than me. These are all thoughts that have crossed my mind at one point.  I'm here to let you know that there are some days that just won't run smoothly. As much as you try, you won't get the meal on the table in time. You had every intention of making those cute cupcakes for birthday treats, but store-bought will have to be just as good.  There are some days that as ling as everyone is still in one piece by bedtime, then you've accomplished enough.  My mom friends, please know that you do a great job! Don't let that doubt sneak in- your kids are doing great, and you are, too.

To any dads reading this- please spontaneously tell your kids' mom how well she's doing (and not just on mothers day please). She needs to hear it, and needs the reassurance of a job well done. Know a new mom- maybe your daughter, niece, or friend with children? Tell her she's doing a great job. Out of the blue motherhood compliments make a mom's heart swell.  All mom's need that pat on the back some days!