Checking In and Catching Up

I have to admit that I'm a bit embarrassed that I haven't posted in 2 weeks. This picture shows my reason for not posting, but it's still no excuse. My apologies everyone!! But, let's catch up a little bit on some areas of my crazy, but full life.

Teaching: We are coming to the end of October, and true to my predictions, things are starting to settle into place as far as behavior goes. I still have those kids where I don't necessarily cry when they're absent, but things have mostly calmed down in room 105B. As a teacher, I feel soooo far behind in everything I need to do. I have piles of crap everywhere, and it's making me nuts. I just need to spend a day uninterrupted in the classroom to get my act together. Since I don't see that happening soon, I'll just make do with what I can, and teach on.

Fitness: Ugh... I'm really beating myself up over this area. I'm using work stress as an excuse to not be working out, but I really shouldn't be doing that. I have fallen so far off the exercise wagon, that it's driven off for miles and left me in the dust. I've got to get up and hop on the next incoming wagon ASAP. November and holidays are coming, and that's primetime weight-gaining season! I'm going to promise to try my best to get my act together starting this Friday. Those that have my number, please text or Facebook me to remind and harass me to exercise on Friday. Please!! I need a kick in the ass to recommit.

Kids: What can I say? The weather has been warm, cold, warm, cold, and rainy... All within the last couple weeks. Of course, Megan has a cough and cold now. I caught the flu that both girls had. It was AWFUL, but thankfully a short one. I want to set off a Lysol bomb in my house and leave for the weekend. Hmm... Do they have Lysol bombs??

Marriage: Long story short- hubby is currently going through an early mid-life crisis and decided he wants an '80-something Cutlass. Why? Because, he used to have one in high school. (Yes, I'm rolling eyes as I type this.) For MONTHS now, he has been looking on Craigslist for a car. I told him now is not the time, please just wait to get it. Let's just say I made it VERY clear what my response would be if he got a car. Well, guess what.... Yep! Saturday night he brought a nicotine Brown piece of crap '86 Cutlass home. Those that know me personally could guess my reaction. Saying I was pissed or mad as hell would be a complete understatement. Hubby's response to mine, "you never want me to have anything I want." Ugh.... Major eye rolling, swearing, tears, sarcasm, and much more ensued. This has been a battle for the books my friends!

That's my crazy busy life. How about yours? How's it going?

Looking Through the Windshield

Many days I will listen to spiritual podcasts on my way to work. I find it gives me a peaceful, positive energy to start the day. Well, today's discussion was about looking forward. The speaker said, "You are intended to not dwell on the past, but look towards what's coming in the future. Did you ever wonder why the windshield is so large, but the rearview mirror is so small? It's because there are bigger and more important things coming your way than what's already passed by." This really stuck with me all day today. Usually when something stays in my thoughts, I feel I need to pay attention and examine it further.

How many times have we thought about things that've happened to us in the past? Maybe how someone wronged us, a relationship failed, or how we were let go from a job. It's hard not to think about those "if only..." moments. For example, I worked in a school district for 10 years. I was happy there. When new administration came along, I was let go. I was devastated. Surely I'd be hired back, I thought. I can't possibly be meant to work somewhere else. I was RIF'ed 3 times, and kept getting hired back until that last time. I was angry, hurt, and felt very bitter. I felt heartbroken to not be returning to my "home" with my teacher friends that next fall. I just couldn't understand why I kept getting hurt and disappointed.

Flash forward several years and I am now teaching for my 3rd year in a great district in which I can also call my home. Looking back, I can clearly see the purpose of my having to be ousted from that previous district. If I hadn't been forced out, I'd have never left. I would never have moved on to my new district and been able to touch the lives of my students these past few years. What if I had stayed bitter and dwelled on how I felt wrongly let go?

We need to not be dwelling on those wrongs in our past. We aren't meant to do that. We are meant to keep moving forward; keep going. Just like drivng... If you're trying to find your way to a new location, and you keep watching your rearview mirror, what's going to happen?? Yep, you'll probably miss your turn and could get lost on the wrong path. That's why we need to keep our "eyes on the road", and look to the future.  I certainly don't want to miss my turn or shortcut to my destination because I'm too worried on what's going on behind me. Maybe you feel the same? Maybe you can think of a time where had you watched the rearview mirror, you would've missed better things?

Earn Your Parent Stripes

Yep, stomach germs invaded our house. Sunday night, Emily threw up. Then, at 1am last night, it was Megan's turn. Thankfully, it was only a short 10-12 hour bug. And, guess who was on the front lines for all of the action. You got it! This girl!  I had a little time to think today about parenting and sick kids.

Pregnancy can be tough for some, and the whole birth process? Not fun for anyone. Handling the tantrums, school worries, teaching right from wrong- these can all be challenging. But, nothing separates the tough from the week like caring for your sick child. Nothing else will make you cry right along with your child quite like the misery and pain that being sick can bring. But, the key is to remain calm, composed, in-charge, and caring (all while trying not to throw up yourself).  I don't think I have to spell out who the girls want when they're sick; I still have the habit of calling my own mom when I'm sick! LOL

I titled this "earn your parenting stripes", because that's exactly what us parents that have been through the flu wringer have gained. We no longer cringe at the sight of blood. We don't run in the opposite direction when our kid pukes. What do those of us with our stripes do? We jump right in there with the paper towels, disinfectant, hair ties to hold their hair, and we stay put and rub their backs. We don't step away from their hugs- we give them because we know that's what they need. Any parent that's been through a flu season could be considered lucky- but, I'm not so sure. It's those late night sick emergencies that help us become better, more skilled parents. While I'd never wish my kids sick, I do feel a sense of pride in knowing I survived and came out feeling more competent than ever.

Blessings and Lessons

What do you think of this phrase?  

I often will think back to all the people I've met in my life.  Some I'm still in relationships with, some I only knew for a while, and others are long gone.  Going along with my belief that there are no coincidences, I have to wonder why these people were brought into my life?  Why were some friendships shorter than others?  Why did I get so close to come people so quickly, and others I never warmed up to?

I started by thinking about the obvious- past boyfriends.  They were all different from one another, but upon closer examining, there was a commonality between them.  There was something "broken" about all of them.  One had a crappy home life, one had an alcoholic dad and step-mom, another wasn't sober very often, another was no longer in contact with his family...  While I felt I loved them all, I wonder, did I really just want to fix them??

Then, I move onto work-friendships.  I've been fortunate to have worked in some places for longer periods of time.  For a while I was in one school for 7 years, and I gained some really great friends by working there.  Others kind of faded to "facebook friends" and I've lost touch with others completely.  Yet, these were people I saw virtually every day, and felt that we could be considered friends.  How did it all change so much once I left?  Was it really work holding us together?  I don't think so... I think that these were the people that were put in place to help me learn.  They were guides, and I can honestly say that I took away something from all of them (other than just some awesome memories).  Since I believe that my life is somewhat mapped out, and I'm being guided, I think that these people were put in my path for specific purposes.  I'm going to take some time to think about what those purposes were, and see if I can make some connections.

Then, I think about my current friendships...  I have some that I go to when I need life advice.  Others I go to for kid/mother advice.  A few that I can turn to whenever I need anything- positive or negative.  I even have a friend that seems to pop in every time my spirit needs him.  It's funny because we aren't in constant contact, but when we are and we have some truly enlightening conversations- my soul feels happy.  I know, I know... I know how that must sound, but that's the best way of describing it.

So, now that I've started thinking deeper about my friendships, relationships, etc. I'm going to see if I can figure out the lessons that those people taught me, and be sure that I thank my blessings for being part of my life and who I am.

**PS- thanks for the gentle reminder to keep posting, B!**

Day 3: Breakfast

Yep, that's my none-too-exciting breakfast. Typically, I eat a large honeycrisp apple on my way to work every day. Does it have to be honeycrisp? Yes, it does. I'm a total apple snob. If its not a honeycrisp or in the family, then I have no desire for it.

Day 2: List

It's day # 2 of the October photo challenge, and today's picture is supposed to be a list.  I assumed that to mean any kind of list, so I created a list of my Top 5 Blessings.

I wanted to take a minute and discuss these things on my list.  Obviously, my family is my greatest blessing.  They are my life and my whole world.  I am everything that I am today because of them.  My daughters make me drink smile on a daily basis.  My hubby keeps me passionate about life.  My mom and brothers keep me grounded by my roots, and my dog gives me the unconditional love that I need.

My friends are my sanity.  They make me laugh and are always there when I need to vent or cry.  Some have jokingly dubbed us "The Real Housewives of DuPage County", and that just makes me laugh!  It's funny because it's silly, but also very TRUE in many respects.  And, I love my "housewives" dearly!

I am fortunate in that I work in a job that is completely all I want to do in life.  I have that unique opportunity to directly impact children's lives.  As scary as that could be, I am exhilarated by it!  Also, I have been very lucky to have made some amazing lifelong friends throughout moving schools and positions.  I have a huge support network in the education world, and have made connections with people in so many ways.  I am so blessed to have met these people, because each relationship brings some sort of gain or insight.  I gained increased patience from one teammate, spot-on classroom and time management from another, and the ability to get others to open up from one amazing "childlike" coworker.

The last two are closely related, and I feel have carried me a long way in my life and career. I have had a variety of situations in life where some people would have a very dark perspective on life.  I could easily focus on how unfair things can be, how good things happen to everyone else, how I really screwed up on some of the choices I made... but I DON'T.  I realize the importance that there are no coincidences in life.  Many of the WORST choices I made directly impacted and brought to light some of the BEST things into my life.

All in all, I feel very blessed in my life.  Everywhere I look, I smile.  No matter how irritated I might be, or down and sad I might feel, I know that there's always a silver lining right around the corner.  I can't wait to enjoy that silver lining with my family, friends, and coworkers!